Revenge is Grood
by The Stoogies
Summary: A collection of crack fanfictions, very ROMANTIC ones, by three friends who just want to get back at each other! Some from DNAngel also... No Yaoi or Yuri involved. THAT'S A GOOD THING! [AKITOxOOC] [SHIGURExOOC][TAKESHIxOOC]
1. 『1080』

Revenge Fic 01.  
(This here holds a collection of Revenge Fics. This drabble being one of them. This is all crack, by the way. oO;)

However, I don't consider it as being revenge-ish. So, TICK-MY-ONEE-CHANS-WHO-RAWK-OFF fic. LOVE! LOVE! XDD

I'm so immature. Anyway, this is going to turn out gay. Have fun!

『**1**0**8**0』

**SHIGURExOOC(RYOKI-CHAN)**

**By Miki**

**Rated: K (G For General Audiences)

* * *

**

Nobody knew, of course nobody except her and himself.

**Her.**

He wonders to this day, why he had told her.

He, of course, had excuses as to why; reasons for himself, not her. More frequent of those were, 'Something had possessed me, urging me on' and, 'It was _killing_ me! I_ had_ to!'

Now, only if he could make himself believe it. Or even willing to.

He joked around a lot, right? So he could've told her it was a joke, with his silly face.

But he dared not lie to her - not that he could, anyway.

_That_ day, she knew. He had confessed.  
However, her reply _this_ day, made him worry no more.

"I don't mind if you ever wanted to be the man-who-poisons-rats."

And he smiled.

* * *

&(234 THE END 324235 dsfa-09-8 OOH… A LINE GOES HERE! YAY! 

MUAHAHAH!

Shigure: I ate Akito's bird. D

No, I'm not good with romantic stuff. So this is it. XD Silly, ne?

This is less then two-hundred words, by the way. And the title fits… somewhat. xD If you ever find out what it means, er… you'll know…?


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:** Welcome to my fic! Err - No, I lied... Not /my/ fic. This account is shared by nonother then my other two friends; Miki and Ryoki. Why am I making this fic? To get revenge on Ryoki, of course! D See, it alllll started when Ryoki was **Being the coolest person ever. She's awesome. And love's Shigure. She's obsessed with him - **grrrStupid Ryoki and her interruptions! Anyway, so, I am a bigggg Akito fan, she is a big Shigure fan, so we both make fun of eachother for that. So, I decided to make a fic about her and Shigure, and then she is going to make a fic about me and Akito... -sighs- This sucks... Oh well! If you /really/ like romantic fics, this is a good one.

**The Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Sorry. It's all in the property of Natsuki Takaya... Lucky her. By the way, this is like... Set in the time when the Mabudachi Trio were in Highschool. -nodnod wink-

**COUPLING:**

**SHIGURExOOC **

**(Ryoki. My next one will be about Miki. -evil laughter-)**

**Creator: Hikari Yamamoto**

* * *

So, it wasjust another day for Ryoki Ishida; she was doing nothing. In class, barely anyone noticed her. Half the time, the teachers marked her absent; not knowing she was there. She was like an ominous shadow in the corner of the room in a desk, kind of like a ghost, you could say... Except visible. Well, if you considered living visible, then it would work out. Ryoki Ishida rarely felt that she was living... It felt like she was in a black box with no real reactions to the world that was bestowed upon her. Why is that you ask? Ryoki was one of those hidden hyper kids, that really didn't like to talk to other people. Especially Shigure Sohma... Yeah, that stupid kid strutting around the school with that idiot Ayame...

Hatori... Hatori was not the bad one, he just hung around with his cousins that were complete unintelligent rejects. Pfft... Mabudachi? What a bunch of uncensored crap. Ryoki sighed, looking over at the 17 year old with his black hair and looked away quickly. What did she need him for anyway? He wasn't even /that/ good looking,(A/N: Ha, Yeah... Riiight) yet all of the girls thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. Slyly, she tapped her fingers on the desk timidly; attempting to not let her mind wander away from the boring session that was murdering her brain. Then, she heard a knock at the classroom door.

She didn't think much of it, considering she'd never really been called down to the office for anything bad. Except for the time when Ayame had said she had really nice hair, she decked him and was suspended for a few days... But other then that, she'd never been messed around with by anyone else. Suddenly, she saw the principal standing in front of the door, pointing to her as the teacher called her name.

"_What /now?"_ She thought to herself, regretting leaving her things behind. Maybe her mother or someone needed her in the office or something? She didn't know; bewilderment surely struck as soon as she had made it past all the plastic tile that led to every different room in the school. She stuffed herself in a chair as the principal found it extremely difficult to say what he was planning to say; after all, he was pacing and kept stroking his chin on occasion. Ryoki rolled her eyes, and then decided to speak.

"If this has anything to do with those Sohma's, I /swear/ they're making it up," She replied with a drawling tone. The principal looked away from her.

"I... I really don't know what to say," He started, just as Ayame, Shigure, and Hatori rushed in. By the look on Hatori's face, they seemed to have dragged him to the office. Ryoki groaned loudly.

"What are you three doing here!" She hissed, giving Ayame most of the scowl that was tugging at her face. Ayame looked hurt, and then gave her a satisfying smile.

"Why, of /course, dear! We wanted to see what was the matter!" Ayame replied with the same smile. Hatori on the other hand sighed, and looked away in a slight embarrassment state. The principal sighed, and took his hand to his face, looking over the three who had just seated themselves.

"Fine, you three can stay..." He said boredly, finally sitting down at his desk. Ryoki opened her mouth to protest, but the principal gave her a look that she didn't want to question, to she just continued to glare. Finally, the principal had gotten to the subject. "I have just gotten a call, Ryoki-Kun... See, your brother seems to have... seemed to have - " And just as he was about to tell her, Ayame's voice crackled in the middle of no where saying: "This is going to be good! I can tell!"

Ryoki muttered some words about Ayame, and then the principal got back to his sentence, exchanging Ayame a slight scowl.

"See... Your brother was shot, this morning... (A/N: Her brother is in the military) They're trying to save him the best they can, but... But the wound was to the head, and... If he /does/ survive, then he will be brain damaged for the rest of his life..." Ryoki looked away, her eyes burning and her stomach feeling as if a shoelace was tied around her ribs and liver.

"What is the percent that he /won't/ get brain damaged?" She asked, her voice very quiet and shaky. The principal sighed. "They say that there is no chance... It is determined to happen, even if they try," He replied, putting a hand on Ryoki's shoulder for comfort as tears welt up inside her eyes.

Ryoki just couldn't control herself any longer, she slapped the hand that was attempting to comfort her and ran... She didn't know where she was going, it was just too much for her to handle. Kind of when a plastic bowl with a lid gets too much pressure, the lid just flies off somewhere. But anywho, she didn't know how long she ran but she just collapsed... Collapsed on the ground because of her brother, because of that stupid Ayame, because her ribs were burning like crazy. Where was her /mother? Why was she letting the principal try to comfort her? Then suddenly, she heard a voice.

"Ryoki-Chan? Are you okay?" It was Shigure Sohma. She wanted to groan, but was too preoccupied in her own thoughts. She could hear him sit next to her, as finally she got the energy to look up at the handsome Sohma. "What now, Sohma? Are you here to make fun of me?" She asked, her voice very shaky. Shigure looked a bit shocked that she would consider that, but instead decided not to nag about it.

"No, Ryoki-Chan... I didn't -" Instead of letting him finished his sentence, she scoffed. "Wow, is little Shigure growing up? Did he finally understand that there are other people in this world other then Ayame, himself, and Hatori? Did Shigure finally realize that - " And he cut her off.

"Did Shigure finally realize he had strong feelings for Ryoki-Chan?" He asked as Ryoki froze. Again, bewilderment struck.

"Honestly Ryoki-Chan... I... I... For some reason, I just want to get to know you better... I want to help you get through this..." He replied, her eyes continuing to welt up with tears.

"I want to learn to love you, Ryoki-Chan..." and just as he said that, Ryoki gather herself into his arms;crying on his shoulder.

**A/N: **Oo; That sucked. But anyway, I didn't get to the part with him turning into a dog. -laughs- I /might/ continue it, but who knows? Anyway, R&R, please! Hikari


	3. El Noche Mal

Authors Note: This is Ryoki writing! I'm scared to read their chapters, should I be?

Hahaha, I'm going to make this SAD. But I won't kill off Akito... Maybe I'll kill myself off... That'd be nice. But well, I'm SORT OF mixing the Anime and Manga... Meaning Akito is a MALE but Ren exists.

Disclaimer: No ownage!

Does anyone care?

An Akito Souma/MUC

(made up character... I'm different! .)

The MUC is none other than Hikari Yamamoto

"Hikari, it can't go on like this! I... I just can't bring myself to it!" Akito looked into her hazel eyes.

"But... Akito, you don't get it! I /love/ you!" She ran her hand through his hair.

"Shut up!" He screamed and pushed her away. She crouched in a corner, her pupils growing wider. "I'm sorry, Hikari, don't leave me. I love you too." He grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug.

"Listen Akito, I don't care if you die an early death, I want our current memories to be good ones." (AN: Bleh, throw up, I know you want to!)She whispered into his ear.

"I know, Hikari, I know." He brushed her hair out of her face and she smiled.

A while earlier...

"Why do we even keep good for nothing servants?" Akito half screamed at the servant woman, and half at the wall past her. "Why did we even hire someone out of the Souma family in the FIRST PLACE?" He kicked the poor girl in the gut. Akito had just had an encounter with Ren(AN: I hate Ren, she's his/her don't kill me Hikari! mom, in the Manga, Shigure... Wait... No, I won't say it! You can guess. . Oh yeah... Anime Shigure rocks... But Manga is a big fat NO.) And he wasn't in the least bit happy.

"WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO WORK HERE!" She got up and yelled back at him.

"Don't you back talk me! I **rule** you!" He said, with added vigor. Then, unexpectedly,(AN: But it was kind of expected, I mean, come on, something had to happen!)he fell on the floor, coughing. "Hattori!" He screamed, while falling.

"Eep!" The girl whined, not knowing what to do. She also yelled at Hattori, but by then, Akito had gotten very quiet. _Oh crap... I'm going to regret this, aren't I?_ She thought to herself and felt his pulse. He wasn't breathing(AN: Le gasp!). She bent over his extremely anorexic body and put her lips to his. 1... 2... 3... She let out breath, Pulled up, and felt for the right place on his chest, 1 2 3 4 5 pumps... 1... 2... 3... And repeated the procedure. Around the fourth time she looked at his face to see any emotions. He was staring at her, with what she thought was an expectant sort of glare. "You stupid perverted... !" She yelled, and slapped him.

AN: Short, I know, Stupid, Yes, but well... Yeah... Um... I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE! DON'T BE MAD AT ME! T.T XD Goodbye!

I know I spell things weird... Like Hattori and Souma...


	4. Destroy the Gate!

OO; I'm weird like this. Note that the following quote has nothing to do with this chapter. ... D: 

"Ren, when you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure"  
- HIKARI

* * *

**Chapter Title:Destroy the Gate Ohmygoshgrr FmA-obsessed-ness  
Fandom: Fruits Basket. Sorta. I suck.  
Pairing: AKITOxHIKARI  
Author: Miki  
Note/Warning: UN-BETAED. I am lazy as heck. Beware of my inability to write... and random things popping out of nowhere... perhaps mentions of violence?  
Rating: Uh. PG? K?**

He had had a distinctive personality, in a malevolent sense.

Unequally unique, as opposed to others, and with a hint of sinister darkness, he was absolutely difficult to comprehend of.

This intrigued her.  
His _malice._ His _hatred_.

Fascination grew to obsession, and it soon lessend to simple attraction.

And 'attraction' was bad.

-------------------------

She hated this gate. It separated her from the person she wanted to bother for no reason whatsoever.

She loathed this gate. It stopped her from doing her daily job.

She disliked this gate. It was repaired after yesterday's catastrophe - she being the one who started all that madness.

She groaned; she didn't feel like crashing into the gate with someone else's car again. For Ryoki and Miki's sakes, she wasn't even old enough to drive!

But then again, it had been fun. Somewhat.

(Somewhere miles away, the school bell rang, and Hikari didn't feel like going to school. It was pointless with even more pointless, bald teachers infesting innocent students' minds with crap better known as 'education'.)

------------------------

"Akitooooooooo-san!"

With a startle, he jumped out of his reverie, and into the terrible reality. He knew this voice; he would recognize it anywhere. And even worse, he sometimes longed to hear it.

"Akki-san!"

He felt his right eyebrow twitching.

"Acme-"

He turned his head to look at the girl practically yelling at him in a sweet way.  
He hated this.

"- toe...?" She blinked in confusion. Something was definitely wrong. "WHAT'S WRONG? ARE YOU DYING?"

His eyebrow was out of control right about now, no matter how much he willed it to stop.

"AHH! IT'S MUCH WORSE, ISN'T IT? YOUR EYEBROW HATES YOU, DOESN'T IT? IT'S TRYING TO BE FREE OF YOUR FACE!"

He would try a different, and almost impossible, technique today. If he ignored her, she'd go away, right?  
He didn't dare be abusive to her; yell, perhaps, but never hurt her in any way. It was odd, actually. She annoyed him to the point of him going mad (not that he wasn't in the first place, but he wouldn't admit this out loud), and yet he welcomed this, too.  
But... he liked his violent ways.

Soon, lost in his pool of thoughts, her voice faded away. He was looking outside his octagonal window; he could see the birds, the gate, the - wait. His eyes widened.

"What..." his voice was hoarse and scratchy, as if he hadn't used it in a while. He gulped and tried again.

"What... have you DONE, HIKARI!"

He felt her blink behind him.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

He thought he would have a seizure right about now. "THEN WHO ELSE COULD'VE DESTROYED MY GATE?"

"IS IT MY FAULT IT BLEW UP?"

"YOU BLEW IT UP? WITH WHAT?"

"Technically, you know, I never said I did."

Akito clutched his head in an attempt to stop himself from punching something.

"WHERE WAS HATORI?"

"...Why are you asking me?"

"WH -" he coughed a bit, "Nevermind... Just how exactly did it blow up?"

"WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, IT JUST DIED."

His head ached badly, threatening to blow his brain up. He knew better than to carry this conversation on any further as the best answer he'd get out of her was probably a, "IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR HAVING A SUCKY GATE!"  
Thus, he didn't reply, just crashed his head on the ground multiple times, wishing he would faint and be out of this stage where confusion and multiple feelings were mixed, eating away at him.

* * *

GRR. I have problems. xD 

FLAME! FLAME!

Why is this so short? WHY IS IT SO GAY? WHY CAN'T I WRITE A FANFIC OF FRUITS BASKET? WHYYYYYYY DIDDDD THISSS FAILLLLLL TOOOOOO HAVEEEEEEEE A POINTTTTTTT? XD


	5. Here's To The Night

**Authors Note: The name of this chapter? This is not a song fic; if it was, I probably would have magically got down syndrome and the grim reaper would have moved from Mars, back to the Earth, and right in the middle of Iraq to assassinate the president for the heck of it. Why? Because I am the author and I said so, no more questions. Why am I being so aggressive? It just so happens I was trying to piss you off. See? I can sense the PMS has conquered, it happens to be my sixth sense, so I will get on to this story; this is not a Fruits Basket chapter. Why? Because it just so happens that Miki doesn't like any of the beautiful men from Fruits Basket, she likes Takeshi Saehara from DN Angel. What's so wrong with that? Nothing. So get over it and I'll stop wasting your time.**

**The Disclaimer: No, I don't own this. Sad, yes? I was so determined to own DNAngel... -sniff- No, I'm kidding. If I wasted all of my time on anime or manga, I think I would have committed a violent suicide by now. Anyway, that one girl who makes DNAngel owns it... Yukiru... Yukiru whatsherheck, I really can't remember her name. I think it starts with a S, though. Kind of like... Yugoslavia. Except, that starts with a Y... Okay, I have absolutely no idea what I am saying. XDDDD Kids, don't write like me... I'm crazy.**

"**Here's to the Night"**

**TAKESHIxOOC (MIKI-KUNESS!)**

**Creation: Hikari Yamamoto**

**Rated: Errrr... How about PG? For some... Bloody, stuff. XD**

LINE! ALMIGHTY LINE OF /DOOM! Okay, ignore that. XD That was just to confuse you, to make you think that it was the beginning. Did you actually believe that was the story? Wow, it's like we need to come up with a new word to properly plumb the depths of lame.

Everything that happened cut through her like a switchblade...

_Him._

Why must she think of such a moron like _him?_ He was a pretty man with a purity of ignorance and insanity.

_Him._

It was hard not to think of him; he left her desolate feelings that gave her puzzled features that left her dumbfound. She had absolutely no idea _why,_ he just left her a absolute feeling of distress.

_Him._

His name ran through her mind... Like someone was stalking her and whispering the same empty and ignorant name in her mind.

_Takeshi Saehara._

It's not her fault about what happened to him... No, it's not. His fault for being an idiot and almost dying. That was not her fault he was born with a stitch of supreme stupidity.

_Him._

Maybe it was the stupidity that drew her to him? She didn't know what to think, was it possible that everything that had happened with him just drew her more, and more... weak? Weak that it was possible that she was growing... depressed?

_Him._

Ha, that was funny. His stupid face always giving her that irresistible grin **(A/N: Oh, jeez... Gag me with a spoon, why don't you? I have bad word choice. 3)** that she couldn't find to describe. She hated that grin, because it meant that he was just drawing himself more, and more to her. And that just got her thinking of the fool...

_Him._

Everything he did made her frown. She didn't want him to know she was drawn to him like a magnet... Everything he did amused her, actually. Because he was trying to show her his actually feelings for her. But yet again, that also amused her. Malevolent feelings of him always poisoned her mind when these things happened.

Who was she kidding? She was _addicted _to this man. His face just gave her a solid feeling in her stomach and amused her greatly. She didn't care what others thought, or what her_ friends _thought. She loved Takeshi Saehara... Even if he was an idiot.

–---------

**Authors Note// OH MY GOSH! THAT WAS FREAKING /GAY! XDDDDD XDDDDDDD XDDDDDDDDDD I'm sorry Squirreli, must have embarrassed you. Unfortunately, if I would have made it humorous it would have left out the angst to it, and I am no good at funny things anyway. I am just pathetic, like that story. \\**


	6. Oxymoron: Part I

...People -- mainly teenagers,

HOLY CRAP. Refrain from abusing the English language! Please! YOUR LACK OF INTELLIGENCE AND COMMON SENSE STABS AT MY BRAIN THE PAINFUL WAY (fear the Caps Lock of Overuse/Abuse).  
I incorrectly blame you for my failure at life.

This chapter is dedicated to the retards who won't stop the horrid abuse. Dedicated especially for those so-called illiterate retards and because this chapter itself is so... _terrible._

Whatever,  
Non-native speaker of English, Miki.

* * *

**OXYMORON : Part I  
ryokiXshigure  
Written by: Miki  
...  
Disclaimer:** HA, RIGHT. THIS IS CALLED A 'FANFICTION', PEOPLE. Who in the right mind would write a FANfiction of their OWN work?  
And if you haven't realized already, I don't own Fruits Basket, nor have I seen or read that much. Ryoki and Hikari tells me a great deal about it, though.

* * *

Mentions of rather unnecessary implications made Shigure cringe. His replies of hinted-at half-sincere excuses made Ryoki recoil with distaste.

Sometimes, she wondered why she even bothered. Bothered to like him, of course.  
Other times, she wondered why she even wondered in the first place.

Often times, she usually thought up devious schemes as a way of revenge.  
Like she was doing now.

The reason of their quarrel would seem stupid in one's perspective and greatly idiotic in the not-even-opposing viewpoint of a different individual. And it was.

_I have a deadline_, he'd said with a hint of impatience when Ryoki had tried pulling him out of this state of faux-depression.

_Deadline?_

A nod. _Tomorrow morning. Damn this writer's block!_

The other being simply glared at him and his use of profanity. He knew she didn't approve of that word.

_Ah_, of course he knew, and he'd try to get rid of this stressing atmosphere. _Ah, ah, um. That's what the monkey in my story said! Of course, he burnt in the forest fire. Of course!_

Ryoki had almost laughed at the excuse, which was probably the worst one she'd heard in a while. But that wasn't the reason of the argument that would come alive later.

_All I have right now -- nothing. I have yet to start._

It had taken a while before she realizedhe was talking about his story again. _Write about a youngling._ she suggested.

_Youngling?_

It was supposed to be a joke. It was, afterall, a joke between her friends. Didn't he know? Considering he hadn't even tried to smile, she had realized that she should refrain from mentioning that word ever again.

_I don't have time for this, Ryoki -- youngling?_

_Relax, 'Gure. Chill. It's nothing. Forget about it. Besides, when'd you start caring about your deadlines?_

This had earned her a grimace.

_So you don't _care_ about my deadlines?_

_What?_

_You don't, _do_ you?_

_No no, of course I care! You know what? This deadline is killing your sense of humor and fun._

And so, the argument had begun.  
A small difference of opinion gradually evolved to sharp insults, each of their creative swords battling for victory.

And here they were, fuming and arms crossed. Glares were exchanged, and both of them had a terrible feeling of guilt inside.

"I'm sorry." the male was the first to speak. Ryoki was more stubborn than he was, and he liked that about her, considering he didn't already like everything about her.

Amazing how two simple wordscould result in even more apology and hugs and laughter. Right?

Amazing how when two lovers do care for each other a great deal, more procrastination occurs and a deadline is never met.

Wise fools and loving disagreements, _right_? The latter made no sense at all.

Procrastination is awesome. Especially when it has nothing to do with love and a gay story by a mental Miki.

* * *

Have mercy. 


	7. Oxymoron: Part II

_Oxymoron: Part II _

Miki; shigureXryoki_  
_

* * *

She was, inevitably, his oxygen – he needed her in order for him to live.

And he? He was the moron, with his moronic views of life that was enunciated in such a philosophical tone that it was almost pathetic.

Maybe that was why she loved him. After all, Hikari had teased her more often that not about his idiotic—no, _humorous _way of "showing his love".

But Ryoki sometimes muses a bit too much, lingering a second too long on her thoughts about their relationship. Not that there was a problem in their relationship at all, really. That's why Miki frequently voices her obnoxious mind on the subject: she wants them to face hardships together.

Perfect wasn't an option.

They needed problems to last such a relationship they were so happy about.

Therefore, a few weeks later, Ryoki broke it off.

He would always be a moron, and she would always love him. He'd need her, and she'd come back someday. But, until then, they would need to learn that nothing was ever perfect.

* * *

This collection of drabbles was becoming rather _dead_, in a sense, so I typed up a 5-minute drabble to liven it up. Plus, the last chapter? The title irritated me.

So, here you have it. And no, it didn't make any sense to me, either.

Additionally, a few notes:

Haha. It was rather hard to catch Shigure there because I don't have a good grasp of his character yet (due to the fact that I'm not a fan of Furuba at all).


End file.
